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Very funny! Just goes to show how music lyrics can be “interpreted” in many different ways!/P

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A nurse from England was on duty in the emergency department, when a punk rocker entered.

This young woman had purple hair styled into a mohawk, a variety of tattoos and strange clothing.

It was determined that the patient had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery.

When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff found that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it was a tattoo reading: ‘keep off the grass.’

After the prep and the surgery, the surgeon added a small note to the dressing which said: “Sorry, had to mow the lawn.”

I just love these types of mind reading videos. Do you read the daily horoscopes? Do you find yours to be quite accurate, does this proove there really are psychics out there?

Here’s a cool video mind reading test. You might want a pencil and piece of paper. When you play the video you will be presented with a series of statements about yourself. Put an check for every statement that is true about you, and an X for every one that is false.

Then ask youself, how well did this video read your mind? If you are impressed, pass this video on the a few of your friends and see how they score.

Then you will know the true secret of horoscopes in the newspaper.

Have fun !/P

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This one is for those of you who can’t get out to a pub on St Patties Day. Either way make sure you have lots of the green beer when listening to it.

How fast are you?

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Have you ever played Where’s Waldo? Melanie Coles, an artist from British Columbia is playing it..global style !For her graduation art project, she has creating a very viral artistic idea. While most fellow students were creating artistic videos, she painted a huge picture of Waldo somewhere in the Vancover area.She hopes that someday it will be visible for others to find on Google Maps, once the satellite takes update pictures of the area.

Her idea has attracted worldwide attention and many people are watching google maps to see who can find Waldo first. Many others are creating waldos of their own in different parts of the world. Who knew Waldo was so popular !

Way to go Melanie, I hope you get an A+/P

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We'll begin with box, and the plural is boxes;
But the plural of ox should be oxen, not oxes.
Then one fowl is goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a whole lot of mice,
But the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
The cow in the plural may be cows or kine,
But the plural of vow is vows, not vine.
And I speak of a foot, and you show me your feet,
But I give a boot — would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three may be those,
Yet the plural of hat would never be hose.
We speak of a brother, and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
The masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine she, shis, and shim!
So our English, I think you will all agree,
Is the trickiest language you ever did see.

When the English tongue we speak
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
We say sew but likewise few;
And the maker of a verse
Cannot cap his horse with worse?
Beard sounds not the same as heard;
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow, but low is low;
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose and dose and lose;
And of goose and yet of choose.
Think of tomb and comb and bomb,
Doll and roll and home and some,
And since pay is rhymed with say,
Why not paid with said, I pray?
We have blood and food and good,
Mould is not rhymed with could,
Wherefore done but gone and lone.
Is there any reason known?
So in short it seems to me
Sounds and letters disagree.

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Have you ever watched to Tonight Show? Jay Leno (on Tuesdays I think) does these funny bits of actual advertisments in various newspapers around the country. Here are a few (borrowed with care from http://www.ahajokes.com/ads01.html)

Supposedly, these are actual advertisements that have appeared in papers across the country.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not
know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000
and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money.
She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works,
and tells the man, “I spent the money so I could look pretty for
you because I love you so much.”

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player,
a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says,
“I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you
so much.”

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market,
doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests
the rest. She says, “I am investing the rest of the money for
our future because I love you so much.”

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the
money, and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.

[Editos Notee: Here is one of my favorite articles about spelling. It was orginally credited to Mark Twain, but there is some debate that it should be attributed to M.J. Yilz]

…

For example, in Year 1 that useless letter “c” would be dropped to be replased either by “k” or “s”, and likewise “x” would no longer be part of the alphabet.

The only kase in which “c” would be retained would be the “ch” formation, which will be dealt with later.

Year 2 might reform “w” spelling, so that “which” and “one” would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish “y” replasing it with “i” and iear 4 might fiks the “g/j” anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants.

Bai iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez “c”, “y” and “x” — bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez — tu riplais “ch”, “sh”, and “th” rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld.

…

The link below is to a more serious document from Mark Twain regarding the simplificaiton of our alpha bet/P

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A cargo plane is in mid-flight over the ocean when suddenly the
cockpit door bursts open to reveal an armed, masked hijacker to a
startled pilot, copilot, navigator, and stewardess.

He held a gun to the pilot’s head and said, “Take this plane to
Iraq or I’m gonna spill your brains all over the place. The pilot
calmly reached up, pushed the gun aside and says, “Look buddy, if you
shoot me this plane will crash right into the sea and you’ll die
along with the rest of us.”

The hijacker thought about it, then held the gun to the copilot’s
head and said, “Take this plane to Iraq or I’m gonna spill HIS brains
all over the place.” But the copilot also calmly reached up, pushed
the gun aside and said, “Listen to me. The pilot’s got a bad heart
and he could keel over at the shock of my being killed. So if you
shoot me, this plane will still crash right into the sea and you’ll
die along with the rest of us.”

The hijacker thought about it for a moment and then held the gun
to the navigator’s head and repeated, “Take this plane to Iraq or I’m
gonna spill HIS brains all over the place.” But the navigator calmly
reached up, pushed the gun aside and said, “I wouldn’t do that if I
were you. Those other two guys have no sense of direction. Without me
they couldn’t find their way out of a paper bag much less get this
plane to Iraq. So if you shoot me, this plane will still crash right
into the sea and you’ll die along with the rest of us.”

The hijacker thought some more, shrugged and this time held the
gun to the stewardess’s head and demanded, “Take this plane to Iraq
or I’m gonna spill HER brains all over the place.” No one says a
word, but the stewardess leaned over and whispered something into the
hijacker’s ear. He turned beet red, dropped his gun, and ran out of
the cockpit in a panic.

The crew tracked down the hijacker, who was found cowering behind
some crates in the hold, and tied him up. The pilot then asked the
stewardess what she said that terrified the man so.

“I told him, sir,” she replied, “that if he killed me, HE’d be the
one who’d have to give you guys your blowjobs.”