The day finally arrived; Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.
He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However,
the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper.
St. Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see
you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though,
that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been
administering an entrance examination for everyone. The
test is short, but you have to pass it before you can
get into Heaven.”
Forrest responds, “It shor is good to be here , St. Peter,
sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor
hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as
it was.”
St. Peter goes on, “Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is
only three questions.
First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T?
Second: How many seconds are there in a year?
Third: What is God’s first name?”
Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns
the next day and sees St. Peter, who waves him up and
says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the
questions over, tell me your answers.”
Forrest says, “Well, the first one — which two days in
the week begin with the letter “T”? Shucks, that one’s
easy. That’d! be Today and Tomorrow. The Saint’s eyes
open wide and he exclaims, “Forrest, that’s not what I
was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I
didn’t specify, so I’ll give you credit for that answer.
How about the next one?” asks St. Peter.
“How many seconds in a year?”
“Now that one’s harder,” says Forrest, “but I thunk and
thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be
twelve.”
Astounded, St. Peter says, “Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest,
how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve
seconds in a year?”
Forrest says “Shucks, there’s gotta be twelve: January 2nd,
February 2nd, March 2nd. . …”
“Hold it, ” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you’re
going with this,and I see your point, though that wasn’t
quite what I had in mind….but I’ll have to give you
credit for that one, too. Let’s go on with the third and
final question. Can you tell me God’s first name”?
“Sure”, Forrest replied, “its Andy.”
“Andy?!” exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter.
“Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to
my first two questions,but just how in the world did you
come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?”
“Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied.
“I learnt it from the song. . “ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS
WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . ”
St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: “Run Forrest, run.”
