This is a warning to anyone who may be about to piss offyou future mother in law!, after asking her to plan and put out the wedding invitation !
You are regretfully invited to the wedding invitation between my son and some cheap two bit tramp
whose name escapes me right now. The biggest disaster in my families history will take place on Saturday, Sept 8th and no doubt end in divorce. The overwhelmingly disappointing heartbreak of a ceremony will be followed by dinner where nuts will be served because whatsherface has an allergy
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1.
After connecting to Internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2.
We are unable to enter anything after we click the ’shut down ‘ button.
3.
There is a button ’start’ but there is no “stop” button. We request you to check this.
4.
We find there is ‘Run’ in the menu. One of my friend clicked ‘run ‘ has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to “sit”, so that we can click that by sitting.
5.
One doubt is that any ‘re-scooter’ available in system? As I find only ‘re-cycle’, but I own a scooter at my home.
6.
There is ‘Find’ button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ‘ find’, but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7.
Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my ‘mouse’ from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8.
Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning ‘HEARTS’ (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.
9.
My child learnt ‘Microsoft word’ now he wants to learn ‘Microsoft sentence’, so when u will provide that?
Some standardizations are good, some are bad. If you could standardize anything, what would it be? Here’s a funny list of humorous standardizations which will probably never come true but might just get you thinking!
Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.
“The young guy says, “That’s OK. It’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.”
The old guy says, “Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?”
The young guy says, “Well, she is 24 yrs old, tall, with blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she’s wearing tight white shorts, a halter top and no bra. What does your wife look like?”
The old guy says, “Doesn’t matter — let’s look for yours.”
