Ponderisms
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to “put your two cents in”… But it’s
only a “penny for your thoughts”? Where’s that extra
penny going to?
Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you
were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it
would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake
up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a
hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put
money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to
see you naked anyway.
Why is “bra” singular and “panties” plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song
about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?
If the professor on Gilligan’s Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They’re both DOGS.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from
morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the
same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it’s outside the hemisphere, but
call it a hemorrhoid when it’s in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad
at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out
the window?
August 12th, 2009, posted by JPRuss
